I saw the midnight showing of DC's latest motion picture atrocity, The Man of Steel. Now, background information on my history with Superman: I never loved him. Call me a cheap floozy if you want, but Supes is anything but respectful. His movies are boring and his comics tend to be garbage. But, hey! At least he's not as bad as Elektra, right?!
I can hear you now, "Come on man! You're not even giving the movie a chance! It's a new start!" You're right! It's unfair of me to judge the movie based off of all the dumb Superman things of the past. So, when I entered that theater at about 11pm, I left my hangups at the door. I was excited! Then I got dealt a whole load of shit. Shitty cinematography, shitty romance and shitty plot all together. Want elaboration? Ok.
-Every other scene of the movie they have to ZOOM. Superman jumps in the air to fly away and they ZOOM IN on him while he's in the air, then they switch to him landing and then ZOOM IN on him as he lands. There is so much fucking zoom in this movie it is retarded. Why the fuck do we need so much zoom? We can see him flying away. We know he's flying far away. We get it. Also, the cameras were super shakey at times. I know it's supposed to be a "it's like it's real" type of thing, but holy fuck, buy a tripod guys.
-Lois Lane and Clark share 0 romantic scenes together, and then they're all of a sudden holding hands and kissing and shit. The only real interaction they had previous to the love is Clark asking Lois not to reveal his alien identity. "Don't tell anyone I'm an alien please." "Ok." "We lovers now." I can understand the idea that someone can grow fond of another after being saved by them, but by that logic, Superman and Pete Ross should have been lovers first!
-The plot itself is shakey. General Zod and his crew are sentenced to the Phantom Zone, where they'll be safe, while Krypton gets ready to blow up. So, instead of just leaving the treasonous Zod and crew on Krypton to burn and hide themselves in the Phantom Zone, they allow their whole race to die out and allow the great criminals to run free? Pffft. Or, when Zod demands Superman (by the name of Kal-El), why do they demand Lois Lane's presence? How do they have any knowledge of her? It's never explained. The whole movie shows off poor writing and plot holes big enough to land a Boeing 787.
Now, you're probably wondering, "where does Onegai Twins fit into this?" An honorable question! Considering that, from a normal point of view, they're nothing alike.
Onegai Twins (Please Twins) is about this dude Maiku. He has a twin. But, in youth, he and his twin were separated. Then one day two girls show up claiming to be his twin because they were each given the same picture of them with their twin from their foster parents. The story then becomes an ecchi romantic comedy about finding out which is really his twin sister and which one will be his future lover. Now, when you investigate this picture of the twins, you can notice the girl's hair under the hat and guess the sister by hair color. Except you can't, because neither one has that same hair color.
You're still saying, "Come on Truth! Where's the similarity!" Well here it is.
Baby penis.
Both fucking love to wag baby penis in your face. At the begining of Man of Steel, you see young Superman's penis and you see it again during an unneeded flashback. And, Onegai Twins uses a picture of nude baby twins in a kiddy pool as a plot device, which they repeat showing you close ups of. Both spend too much time on baby penis and not enough time on plot.
But, hey, if you don't believe me that Superman sucks, here's this:
Recently, people have been fired up in discussion about the anime adaptation of Aku no Hana. Most of these discussions are people complaining about the character designs and people defending it for it's stories, or things of such a manner. This blog today, however, won't be aiming to condemn or defend Aku no Hana (yeah, I'm saving that until after the series is done airing). People are also starting to notice just how bizarre and perverse the story being told by Aku no Hana is. Because of this, I'd like to give a brief nod to other perverse, borderline-hentai works that have been phenomenal in their own ways. Ladies and gentlemen, let's take a walk through the garden of evil:
Title: MM!
Format: Anime and Manga
Genres: Comedy, Ecchi, Harem
When you have a problem, you can always count on the volunteer club to help you sort it out and overcome. Well, that is if you can stand Mio, the leader of the club, and her eccentric, conceited personality. Despite her abuses (both verbal and physical), she devotes herself to helping accomplish your goal with true tenacity. Under recommendation of a friend, Taro Sado goes to the volunteer club in hopes that they can cure him of his masochism - a sexual arousal received from pain that has gotten him into humiliating and social destroying situations in the past. Mio, and in turn the volunteer club, takes on this challenge that only way Mio knows how: hurt him so much that he no longer wants to be a masochist.
MM! is comparable to a slice of life comedy. It really has no true plot and any plot that it does have is short lived. Despite such a lack of plot, MM! contains massive amounts of comedic genius for it's genres and could be claimed to be one of my favorite comedies. Give it a watch/read and join Sado as he encounters the sadist Mio, the man fearing Yuuno and his first love - whom actually turns out to be a boy in drag.
Title: System of Romance
Format: Manga
Genres: Drama, Romance, One-shot
Once upon a time, a random girl meets up with some random man she met from a chatroom online. They had a romantic one night stand that lead to nothing. Nothing whatsoever. Except for when he kidnapped her two years later and rapes her. Fucked up, right? Very fucked up. It gets worse. She fell in love with him. Weird fucking manga. Only, like, 14 pages or something like that. Quick read. You'll probably never read anything quite like System of Romance.
Title: Ebiten
Format: Anime and Manga
Genres: Comedy, Ecchi
Their club is called the "Asstronomy" club. Yeah, how's that for an introduction?
Ebiten tells a tale of a boy named Itsuki Noya who wishes to join the Astronomy club. However, his hopes are sort of ruined when a girl named Kyouko won't let him join the club since he's a boy. Yet, despite her
concerns, she's quick to allow him in so long as she's not aware he's a boy - which leads to Noya crossdressing in an over sized girl's uniform. The story is very 'slice of life'-ish at first. A new day, a new completely random reason to strip Kanamori and shame her in front of the school kind of thing. The series is also littered with references and parodies to other anime/manga works in the industry, which helps the little bits of story there are along. Not to mention that Noya somehow becomes a magical super villain thing. Not kidding.
Of the titles listed here, Ebiten is certainly the tamest, but it still holds it's own when put to the test. Whether you come for panty shots or the parodies on anime culture, you're in for a treat.
Title: Believers
Format: Manga
Genres: Psychological, hentai, what the fuck did I just read
The story portrayed in Believers is one that we all can connect to. We all go through a phase in life where our lives just aren't going where we want them too. We all go through a search through ourselves to find what truly lies within our souls. We all willingly give up freedom to a cult that ships us off to an island with random people we know nothing about to perform tasks we don't fully understand.
Oh, wait, what? You can't connect to that?
No worries! Believers can emulate the experience for you easy as pie! Three people, one female and two males, have been sent to this island to live away from modern society and to...well...talk about dreams? What they're doing there in the first place is kind of shady. Besides scavenging for food and sharing information about their dreams, there's very little they do on the island. That is, until one of the males and female decide that they're attracted to each other. Once this discovery is made, the island is all about SEX SEX SEX SEX! But, all the sex by the beach side isn't the only reason Believers gets a spot on my list of the perverse. Oh no, there's more to it. The third male finds out about the "adultery" committed by the other two. He's jealous. He wants in on the action. Needless to say, he has a very awkward fetish (pictured at the side). Believers is a very awkward, perverse tale that will make you scratch your head the whole time asking, "What the hell did I just read?"
Title: Sundome
Format: Manga
Genres: Comedy, Romance, Psychological, Ecchi
"Everyone has their own turn-ons....I think. Even if people call me clumsy I still have some turn-ons that no one else may be able to understand. How I like the skin around someone's eyes...or their calves...or the shape of their mouth...or the shape of their ears. Somehow, all of her was my turn-on." -Excerpts from Sundome
Sundome is a romantic comedy of the most twisted variety. Hideo Aiba has never been considered one of the "cool" guys. Nor has he really been considered for anything ever really. Aiba aligns himself with a group of rejected nerds who focus all their attention onto perversions...and occasionally supernatural things (since that is what their club is ACTUALLY about). One day, a girl named Kurumi Sahana transfers into Aiba's class and she turns out to be a bombshell knockout that Aiba can't help but fall in love with. Aiba's world is rocked even harder when Sahana forces her way into Aiba and co.'s club. It turns out that Sahana is aware of Aiba's feelings and shares them to an extent, but she makes Aiba aware of one thing: she'll never have sex with him; a condition Aiba accepts. Thus begins their twisted journey of sexuality.
Sundome - which literally translates to "stopping the moment before" (*cough*cumming*cough*) - is one of my all-time favorite mangas and one of the few manga series I can return to and reread and experience the same enjoyment as the first time. I recommend it. Though, perverse in nature, the smell from this flower is sweeter than the prick of it's thorns.
The Oculus Rift is an upcoming HMD (Head-mounted display) device that aims to revolutionize the way we experience video games, and possibly even change human life.
Up until now I was slightly intrigued by the Rift but recently when I began thinking of the possibilities my innards screamed and ever since the daydreams haven't gone away.
I am obsessed and will not be happy until the Rift is released commercially so I can escape the wretched 3DPD reality and enter a new realm, where I can find happiness and excitement.
In this blog post I will list various uses for the Rift that I hope become reality ... virtual reality (badum tssh etc).
21st century tamagotchi
Did you ever use one of those little devices as a child. The ones where you take care for a virtual pet. You fed it, cleaned its shit and made sure that it didn't suffer an awful death because of your laziness and indifference. I sure did. Mine died. I forgot that my little tamagotchi device was stored in the outdoor storage at the apartment complex and over winter he suffered a very slow and painful death.
Imagine that with the Rift you could have your very own virtual 3D-like (but not 3DPD) tamagotchi waifu or husbando.
In this video we see an example of a truly revolutionary use of modern technology and augmented reality:
Watch as the person wearing their HMD device interacts with Miku in a 3DPD setting.
She is really there, waiting for your embrace and loving.
Imagine the use something like this could have.
Take the technology that powers AR-Miku and include the Rift, possibly even the Kinect or a similar device.
Imagine you're in your room wearing the Rift, along with a Kinect device on the wall and Miku-chan or another person of your choice walking about.
With the Rift you can view the room and Miku, and with the Kinect you can interact with her.
The possibilities for this type of application are endless but I can name a few such as being able to truly immerse yourself in the friendship with your waifu or husbando or bff, having sex with them or just casual things like movie watching.
Oculus tamagotchi doesn't have to be limited to the ugly 3DPD world either. You could possibly spend time with Miku in a virtual setting too.
Imagine importing AR-Miku into a game and having the ability to use her as a multiplayer partner.
Silent Hill/horror games
This is one of my biggest wishes and expectations for the Rift.
Silent Hill (games 1 - 4) has always been about immersion in this world.
Silent Hill's strongest aspects are its atmosphere and sound.
When I started playing Silent Hill 3 at the ripe and young age of 13 I experienced sensations and feels that sadly will never be experienced again.
Walking through the dim hallways, as the radio static kicked in my delicate little body went into panic mode and as I walked closer to the mission path the sounds of monsters screaming and choking on flesh would send violent fear and pain throughout my body.
Silent Hill is about exploring your surroundings and the fear comes not from having enemies surround you and cause chaos (like stupid plebeian games such as resident evil) but from creeping about causing the sensation and thought of "What could possibly be waiting for me?".
With the Rift the atmosphere and psychology of Silent Hill would be turned up to 11.
Instead of viewing someone from the third person walking through a dark hallway you would be the one in those shoes.
Imagine as your making your way through a level you hear the sounds of monsters eating dead bodies or just walking about minding their own business.
Slowly as you make your way to the end of the hall a fucking corpsezombiedogthing jumps right in your field of view, on the Rift, in 3D.
You're guaranteed to shit your pants or die of a heart attack.
Now imagine playing something like that on weed or something.
Another interesting use for Silent Hill on the Rift could be that instead of hearing radio static you would have to look down to see if the radio is flashing or perhaps to be aware of the presence of enemies you would have to look around for their shadows.
Honestly if I was playing Silent Hill on the Rift I would just get high and walk around imagining myself living in this otherworld, this world of misery and despair.
I would crawl into a corner and embrace the raping cock of zombiedogs and giantmanthingsiwthoversizeddeformedhands.
I have always wanted to live in the otherworld and the Rift would make that wish come true :3
Dating simulators
Well this is a no-brainer.
The Japanese dating simulator industry is going to boom when the Rift is commercially released.
It's guaranteed that dozens and dozens of developers will design games to work around the Rift.
With dating sims, the Rift and an onahole you will never need to waste time on a 3D pig again.
Space Engine
While NASA and co. await tax payers to cough up enough money to send some wankers up to outer space you can be exploring the great unknown in the comfort of your hikikomori lair.
Space engine is a glorious piece of software designed by some guy from Russia.
I'm not gonna really go into detail about what it is so google for yourself.
Fuck yes.
Imagine playing this glorious space simulator on the Oculus Rift ... while .... BLAZED.
Fuck NASA and fuck ever leaving my bedroom, nigga I am in outer space!
Space Engine on the Rift is perhaps the most glorious thing that could ever happen to that device and will ensure that I never leave my room ever again.
The only thing that could make this even better is if you're also listening to some perfectly fitting music
Hello, welcome to Pantsucafe. And, welcome to my first installment of 'Manga You've Never Heard Of.' My first title to introduce you to, with all honestly, is an interesting choice considering the title. Annarasumanara isn't actually a manga as the title would imply. Rather, it's a manhwa, which is pretty much the same thing as a manga, just Korean. I was scrolling myanimelist a few months back and my computer was freezing up. I lost my cool and started to rapidly click my mouse ('cuz, you know, that'll help you soooo much), got fed up and left the room. When I came back, my computer was no longer frozen and was on some random page I must have accidentally clicked about Annarasumanara. It has been a pretty golden discovery and has lead me to dig deeper into manhwa.
In the world of Annarasumanara (try saying that ten times fast), we follow the high school lady known as Ah-ee Yoon. Having lost her mother to death and having her father on the run from loan sharks, she lives alone with her younger sister and struggles to keep a roof over her head and food on their plates. One day, while at school, she overhears her fellow classmates talking about a magician who wanders an abandoned circus. As she listens in, she hears a tale of a good looking magician who asks his targets whether they believe in magic; when met with doubts, they are the subject of a disappearing act...never to be seen again. Ah-ee frowns at their stories. Believing in such stories is childish. She doesn't have the time to be childish. But, after some mishaps, Ah-ee finds herself at an old circus she remembers from her childhood and face to face with a handsome magician who asks her, "Do you believe in magic?" Annarasumanara is a story that challenges the ideas of "growing up" and what truly is childish along side trying to get you to honor the mystique and beauty of the unknown.
The story of Annarasumanara isn't the greatest thing ever. Its morals are obvious and somewhat preachy. But, despite such, it's a fine journey to read through. It holds a certain mystique that just grabs you and holds onto you for all three volumes (yes, it only has three volumes). I believe this mystique is largely due to the art that accompanies the story. The majority of the art is rather grayscale, but will occasionally have full colored images or colored moments within all the grayscale. Or, entire pages that break the typical system of panels and just become what look to be a canvas of art. Both are used as interesting symbolism that coincides with the story at hand. These artistic methods intertwine with an emotional story to deliver a hard hit to your heart. I highly recommend Annarasumanara. Even if it isn't the greatest manga/manwha you ever read, I'm more than sure you'll find it to be a hidden, almost magical, gem.
